I’m not your friend…

Sounds childish, doesn’t it?  As an adult, this isn’t something I thought I would ever have to say or even think of saying. But as an adult I’ve also come across friends that need to be dismissed. Not because they are bad people, not because they’ve exhibited any malicious intent but simply because they take more energy than they give. It wasn’t until very recently that I began dismissing friends.

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I’ve struggled with this idea of dismissing friends who aren’t bad people. Is it something that you need to explain? If so, how do you explain it? Here’s what I think: You don’t have to! We should be free and able to walk away from people and situations that do not energize, revive or otherwise make us happy. I’ve done this.

I am a nurturer. I am a giver. Often times, people remain oblivious to the fact that the nurturer needs to be nurtured too. It was the loss of a family member that further drained me and I realized how much of myself I was giving without it being reciprocated. Having said that, it’s important to know that not everyone’s give looks like yours so reciprocity won’t be a mirror image of your actions. Ultimately, you know when you’re being given to and when you’re being taken from. Should you choose to have that conversation, hit ’em with the old “It’s not you, it’s me” then keep your nurturing, giving, friendly a$$ moving right on to another nurturing, giving, friendly a$$ person.

Image from Markmason.net

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “I’m not your friend…

  1. I agree that it is important to have relationships that are mutual, where there is both giving and receiving. I’m glad you see that it is important that you get your needs met too. Giving when you aren’t filling yourself just leads to anger, resentment and burn out. One piece I would add is that I think it is very important that we ASK for what we need and want. Sometimes the kid parts inside of us think that other people should just know.

    Welcome to the blogging community. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

    Like

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